“Ummm…what is this?”

“Well that’s interesting…that hangs a little lower.”

“What the heck is going on with my boobs?  First they were perky little twins and now they are…well I don’t know what they are!”

“Is my butt seriously saggier?”

“Sooo…I officially have nothing to wear.  That’s awesome.”

“Does my husband find me sexy anymore?”

“Heck, will I ever find myself sexy again?”

These are things that I think and say on the regular.  And it’s a bummer.  Just being real.

And I would like to say I’m the girl in the first picture that says “I don’t give a fudgsicle!”  But I’m usually the girl in the second picture saying “What the hizzeck?!”

Now for those of you who might have a comeback and say “Girl you earned those tiger stripes!  Look at your two beautiful children you bore!”  Well let me tell you that these tiger stripes are not from babies but from pizza.  I actually didn’t gain any extra stretch marks from my pregnancies.  I’ve had those bad boys for a long time!  And it would be nice to blame my ever increasing weight on my pregnancies alone but I was on the fluffy side of life before I got pregnant.  However the boobs?  The weird tummy thing where your tummy meets your hips?  What the heck people?!

And let’s not get started on my clothing options.  I literally wear 3 things:  a hideous teal leopard swimsuit coverup, a middle eastern tube dress that I cut off at the knees so I don’t fall carrying the baby up the stairs and my 4 year old black robe.  That’s it.  And then combine those wardrobe choices with a frizzy bun, no makeup and dark circles under my bloodshot eyes?  Ummm…

I’m trying to be body positive but some days it’s hard.  It’s trying to find the balance of giving your self a little grace and say “it’s okay hun…you got this…ease into it” and the me that says “I’m soooo tired and don’t feel like working out and I want some freakin pizza!”

I picked up a barbell today for the first time.  Yay me!  Was a little discouraged when I realized it only weighed 25lbs…I thought for sure my husband must have been mistaken because this fo sho felt like a 45lb barbell to me!  So with that being said I am taking it slow and easing back into things.

I’ve always been a little soft and honestly I’m okay with that.  I do however want to be healthy and have energy and be able to wear the hundreds of items hanging in my closet instead of the 3 things that I can currently fit.  And I want my kids to be healthy.  So with that being said….I need to get off my ars, put in the hard work and put that freakin piece of pizza down!  (But pizza every once in a while is ok!)=-[]’

Until next time…

Huggles & A Trio of Kisses,

Jaime